Obsession isn't a dirty word. Just don't let it eat the people at your table.

I've been reading Grant Cardone's Be Obsessed or Be Average, which came out in 2016. Straight up, the title alone makes some people flinch.

Because most of us were taught that obsession is a problem. Something to fix. Something your mother worries about.

Cardone flips that around. And I think he's half right, which is exactly why he's worth reading.

Here's what he's really saying

Most advice tells us to slow down, find balance and take it easy. Cardone thinks that advice quietly makes people average.

His own story, as his publisher tells it: he was broke, out of work and hooked on drugs. He says getting obsessed is what turned it around.

What he's really saying is this. That hunger you feel to build something big isn't a flaw. It's fuel. Stop saying sorry for it.

Feed the beast

He calls your obsession a beast. And a beast has to be fed.

What does he feed it with? Big goals, wins and real work getting done. He writes his goals every morning and reads them every night, until they become part of him.

The other half of the job: "feed the beast and starve the doubt." Make the big want so loud that the small fears have no room left.

What I'd take straight away

For a lot of founders, this is the permission they've been waiting for. You don't need to feel guilty for caring this much about your business. Let's be real, nobody builds something great while half interested.

Writing your goals down every single day is a no-brainer. It costs nothing, and it keeps the main thing in front of your eyes.

His take on critics helps too. Use your haters as fuel, and answer doubters by hitting your goals until they have to believe you. No arguing. Just results.

Where I'd slow down

Here's the thing. Cardone says there's no balance for people bitten by their obsession. That's where I'd push back.

Your body doesn't care how big your goal is. In 2021, the WHO and the ILO reported that working 55 or more hours a week comes with about a 35% higher risk of stroke than a normal 35 to 40 hour week, and about a 17% higher risk of dying from heart disease.

Then there's family. Cardone says obsession makes him a better father and husband. Maybe it does for him. But that only works if the people at home agree to the deal. If they don't, it isn't obsession anymore. It's absence.

Think of a pressure cooker. The pressure is what cooks the dal fast. But a cooker with a blocked whistle doesn't cook faster. It blows the lid off. Your whistle is sleep, a walk, a Sunday lunch with the phone in another room.

Feed the beast, sure. Just don't feed it your health or your family.

Try this week

Borrow Cardone's habit, with one small change. Every morning, write your three biggest goals by hand.

Under them, write one line: the thing you won't trade for those goals. Maybe seven hours of sleep. Maybe dinner at home three nights a week.

Read both every night. If by Sunday you've broken that last line, your beast is eating the wrong thing.